Seriously, what even happened in this game? Like, what?
After a month-long break due to illness and schedule conflicts, we stumbled drunkenly back in through the door. Actually that’s a bad metaphor, because we didn’t even get in the door.
Everyone started off near the entrance to the Orc keep, where the bone token had been pointing. There aren’t any guards near the door itself, but there are several archers on top of the cliff.
The party makes their way up the hill and sneaks up behind the orcs. Unfortunately, folks were a bit too loud and shiny, so one of the orcs senses something and turns around. As its peeking in their direction, it calls to the nearest orc to ask if it sees anything. Thats when Severath let loose with his crossbow and kills the second one instantly.
The third orc doesn’t notice right away so Pe-ling flings a rock at him, crushing his armor pretty badly and making him cry out in alarm. The other two remaining orcs are alerted now.
Mahkdoh and Orc 1 run together in a brutal clash. Orc 1 drew his falchion and slashed Mahkdoh pretty badly up the middle.
Orc 3 moves a horn to his lips in order to sound an alarm, but Pe-Ling crushes it with a rock again and it crumples to the ground.
Orc 4 sees all this and blows his horn.
From there, all remaining orcs on to of the cliff were killed, with one of them falling into the animal pen at the bottom. Upon further inspection, the pen is filled with two dire boards, who proceed to tear the orc body apart.
The portcullis over the entryway starts to open.
Suddenly, one of these asshats gets the idea to hold up the dead orc bodies and pretend that everything is fine, and that they blew the horn when their comrade fell into the pit. So everyone grabs an available orc corpse and holds it up, then gets their orcish accent ready. My thinking: “This is never going to work.”
A patrol of 10 orcs comes out of the entrance and asks where the enemy is.
Que a natural fucking 20 bluff check from Thorsun. Rather than hold an orc corpse, the dwarf grabs two flasks of alchemists fire and gets them ready to drop. He shouts down at the orcs below, telling them that they blew the horn when their comrade fell into the pit. Meanwhile, one of the floppy corpses is being made to gesture like its the one talking.
Can’t fucking believe this.
The orc captain peers into the pen, seeing the blood and gore everywhere. He sighs, frustrated, and puts his weapon away. The others follow suit. Thats when Thorsun dropped the alchemists fire.
Of course, the original plan was to distract the orcs long enough so that the party could gain access to the door and get inside. But meh.
Two orcs burn to death, and Thorsun drops another alchemists flask. The orcs call for retreat back into the cave, and the portcullis starts closing.
This is where Nuada decides to swing into the doorway from the top of the 60 foot cliff.
He plunges one end of a grappling hook into the cliff, giving Thorsun the rope to hold, the runs and jumps off the edge, hoping to swing into the opening.
He crashes into the portcullis.
Somewhat stunned and injured, he drops to the ground and rolls under the closing gate just before it slams shut.
Pe-Ling, Faenya, and Kuma all shimmy down on ropes. Severath, Mahkdoh and Thorsun take one look at the distance, then start making their way for 20 minutes down the sloping hill.
Meanwhile, Nuada stands in darkness, with only a few beams of light angling through the portcullis to reveal the area he’s in. It looks like there is a strong wooden door preventing him from adventuring further, and no handle of any kind. Worse yet, the portcullis mechanism doesn’t appear to be in this area either. Nuada is stuck in a small “airlock” for lack of a better word.
Pe-Ling, Faenya, and Kuma all take turns working on the door to get him out. Faenya gets bored and befriends one of the dire boars. The other two also get bored and toss an orc corpse into the pen, the the boars are full now and not interested. Luckily, one of the corpses has a set of keys on it. Its just hard to tell where they go.
Eventually, the other party members rejoin, and working together they all lift the door high enough for Nuada to get out. While they were distracted with that, the Boar Trainer steps into the pen, opens the door, and sicks the boars on the party.
Luckily, one of the boars is considered “friendly” toward Faenya, and once freed it runs up to her, nuzzling her.
The other one ferociously attacks the party, but ends up rolling severely poor and pretty much harms no one. Severath cast web to contain it, but it breaks free. Kuma caught his orc double axe in the web at one point, but Mahkdoh helps him wrench it free. Pe-Ling acrobats over the wall to get at the trainer, but leaps and rolls a 1, spraining his ankle pretty bad. The boar trianer flees back into a side door, locking it behind him.
Finally the boar is defeated. Faenya’s “friendly” boar rolls high for morale, and is not affected at all by its companion’s death, although it got a little edgy during combat. For now its content to follow Faenya around and nuzzle her.
Now the party has a set of keys. So what does Thorson do? Grabs the set, heads to the door at the back of the boar pen, and sticks one of them in the lock.
Then rolls a nat 1 reflex save.